Live Blogging Top Chef: The Final Episode
Mardi Gras is over in New Orleans, but that doesn't mean we can't keep partying on the streets of cyberspace. Is everyone ready for our season-ending live blog blowout? Laissez le blog en direct rouler!*
(*Google Translate agrees with me that this is French for "let the live blog roll." If we're both wrong about that, well … excusez-moi.)
We've reached the final episode of the season Bravo still calls "Top Chef New York," although they ditched Brooklyn for the Big Easy weeks ago. In fact, a more accurate title would be: "Top Chef New York/Orleans." Or better yet, "Top Chef Big Apple/Easy." Yeah, that's it. (Bravo, call me next time you need to name a show, OK?)
To join our group-commenting carnival (starting at 10 Eastern) you need either alcohol or a TV set (if not both), so I hope nobody out there gave up both television and drinking for Lent. If not, grab your drink and/or remote while I run through these highlights from last week's live blog:
- Emeril was so uncharacteristically sedate, his name might as well have been "Restoril."
- After ending once, Jeff's stint on the show started anew — only to end a second time. So the Miami Dildo's Top Chef tenure turned out to be a double-ended one.
- Commenter TheDivineMissM (who hails from Lafayette, Louisiana) regaled us with interesting info about Cajun culture and cuisine.
- Stefan waved his sausage around, but nobody cared.
- Our favorite cheftestant had to pack his knives. Hopefully commenter bjonston will be on hand to re-create the voice of Fabio tonight, because it just wouldn't be Top Chef Big Apple/Easy without it.
- I gloated after the Final 3 (Stefan, Carla and Hosea) perfectly matched my Week 1 prediction. Then I promised not to gloat about it any more. And I'm not gloating now — I'm just reporting what happened.
- Surprisingly, almost no mention was made of Katrina. Tonight's episode will hopefully rectify that by featuring something that benefits or pays tribute to some of the disadvantaged people of New Orleans, whose lives haven't exactly been one big Mardi Gras party for the past three and half years, y'know?
And now, with a mix of giddy anticipation and a heavy heart, I offer up this season's final list of "things to watch for as we live-blog tonight":
- Watch for Tom Colicchio's face to appear stubbly while the top of his head looks freshly shaved. What does this tell us? That when it comes to both cooking and shaving, he aims high.
- # We thought we'd seen the last of unfunny Toby Young, but the joke's on us: He's ba-a-ack. But so is Gail Simmons, just to remind us (by direct contrast) how much she's been missed recently, and underappreciated in the past.
- Hosea will continue to irritate us by constantly talking about how he's in a two-way race with Stefan. (As commenter DahlELama noted: Anyone who took a shot every time Hosea said Stefan's name could die of alcohol poisoning.) Hey Hose-man! Last time I checked, Carla won two out of the last four elimination challenges. How many have you won lately?
- For the first time, a black woman or a bald man will win Top Chef. Either way, we'll witness history tonight, folks.
- Carla will cut up an alligator — which just seals the deal on what an awesome person she is. She's a model turned accomplished chef. She says "hootie hoo." She brings the love. She butchers alligators. How much cooler and more loveable can one person get?
By the way, you members of the live-blog commenting crew are pretty cool and lovable too — which is why I'll miss you and this Wednesday night party of ours after tonight. Hopefully, if Gawker's kind editors and the kind fates allow, we'll do something like this again soon. Until then, I will leave you with two thoughts before we start our final party tonight: First, to paraphrase Friedrich Nietzsche: The end of a live blog is not its goal: nonetheless, had the live blog not reached its end, it would not have reached its goal either. Second, to paraphrase Carla: Hootie hoo, crew!