Attention, unemployed young media people: according to what we fear may be a real Craigslist job posting, you may be able to make up to $10 working for a publishing company! If you're not "bitchy."
Several people have sent us this ad in the last 24 hours, and while we sincerely hope it's fake, we're just as sure that it very well could be real. Times are tough, bitches. "Wanted: Eager young man (or emotionally stable woman) to intern in an exceptionally fast-paced media office" for 30 hours per week (they even take women, BONUS!). The requirements:
1. A reasonable phone manner. Not saccharine, but not bitchy. Able to command the respect of whomever is on the line.
2. A reasonable understanding of correspondence. Do you end e-mails with "Sincerely" or frequently use the term "LOL"? Not here you don't.
3. A healthy disdain for "the average." We'll put it this way: Don't talk to us about *The Hills*. Ever.
4. A willingness to perform light childcare. Not every day, but as needed, and with aplomb.
5. A unique tolerance for pressure. Please, no tears. It's grating.
6. Experience with French - *Parisian* French.
7. A presentable appearance. What's a "hoodie"?
8. The ability to lift light weights. Never more than 20 pounds.
9. A breadth of cultural knowledge, from Koolhaas to Kant to Klimt.
10. An ability to take direction. Simple enough.
Ha, sounds fair. With aplomb! What's a hoodie? What's the Hills? Let's discuss the categorical imperative!
Pay for this position is a $10 daily stipend, invaluable experience and the occasional byline. Opportunity move up quickly (6-12 months) to a staff editor position.
This job demands confidence and assertiveness. To apply, please send us an email with a CV and a brief description of a scenario in which you were "truly the best." We can't overstate this point: Contact us ONLY if you fulfill the above requirements.