The producers of this year's Oscars would really like you to watch the awards ceremony. Especially you, easily-marketed-to young men. They've even convinced your God, Judd Apatow, to do a short film!

Yes, the Knocked Up maestro has filmed some content, and will do some live stuff as well, for the February 22nd telecast. The occasion for the bits? It will be the lead up to "a tribute to comedy." Nothing more. Just a tribute to things that are funny. Man Getting Hit By Football had better be included.

Also spicing up the whole production, but scaring those young men the hell away, will be swishy director Baz Luhrman. He's creating some sort of set piece for the evening's host, Hugh Jackman. So wait, dudes and dudettes. Wolverine is hosting? But he's singing and dancing? I'm confused!

It's kind of funny and sad that the producers, Bill Condon (hey girl!) and Laurence Mark, feel the need to mete out these shadowy little plot points like breadcrumbs leading to the glorious Kodak Theater. Ain't nobody ever gonna watch the Oscars who wasn't going to watch the Oscars in the first place. Which is why every time they try to retool, it's such an annoying disaster (remember poor Peter Coyote moored backstage, yelling at people, a few years ago?) Just give us the opening musical number, the Debbie Allen shadow dancers, and maybe Whoopi Goldberg dressed as an old white lady. That's all we want.

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