Quelle horreur! Ted Kaufman, the guy appointed to Joe Biden's Delware Senate seat, might secretly not believe in God!

This would make him America's highest-ranking atheist, which is a bit like being America's best-selling prune juice-flavored soda (better luck next time, Congressman Pibb!). But, you know, he hasn't actually come out as one, yet.

"What he calls his 'humanistic' way of thinking he attributes largely to his Irish Catholic mother, a teacher, and his father, a secular Jew, a social worker and his hero."

See, "humanist" is a code-word. Like "lifelong bachelor." "Secular Jew" is not code, that really just means straight-up atheist. But still! Ted himself can't admit to it straight up!

Now Ted was appointed Senator, so the list of open atheist elected to the Senate is still hovering near "zero." But what a step forward, at least until he steps aside to let Beau Biden have the seat in a couple years.

Of course there is an open atheist in congress—Pete Stark of California! And, amusingly, the Secular Coalition of America has a list of 22 closet atheist lawmakers. Atheists are the new gays! How great would it be if there was a mass atheist outing campaign?

It's sad, isn't it, that America just elected it's first secret Muslim president, but we non-believers will probably never live to see the day a fellow godless nihilist reaches that mountaintop.