Hah, the Obamas brought their own personal home chef with them to The White House. And oddly that bit of crazy elitism will please all the hippies.

Because Sam Kass—who will just be one of their personal cooks, with White House Executive Chef Cristeta Comerford keeping her job!—is "one of the new breed of chefs who are concerned about the environment and about poor eating habits in this country." Americans eat like shit, and this chef would like to change that, with his "private chef service in Chicago that, according to its Web site, is the client's 'link to clean, healthy food.'" Oooooh, the smug liberalism on display here is enough to make us want to read The Corner.

This is news because famous local food inventor Alice Waters, who despite being terribly annoying has indeed done many admirable things in her life, wrote some terrible letter to Obama about how she'd help him choose a new White House chef, who would cook local organic things and be committed to hippie bullshit like she is. The implication was that whomever terrible Bush's White House Chef was was probably a monster, just like he is, and because Bush is an uncouth cowboy jerk from Texas, he probably just ate Manwiches every night, and he had all of his cans of Manwich trucked in from an A&P in Waco. Laura just ate vokda and pills for dinner, obv.

But, hah, the Bushes are rich privileged people with a full-time in-home professional chef so of fucking course they were all eating the same locally grown organic nonsense Alice Waters serves, and this set off a chef war that only became interesting once Tony Bourdain got involved.

Anyway it turned out in the end that organic, local, sustainable food is an upper-middle class luxury, home vegetable gardens rely on both a sizable arable plot of land and the time to tend to them, and the way to achieve true sustainability and improve nutrition is not to encourage people to plant their own radishes (or to have the White House Easter Egg Roll use free-range fucking eggs!) but to completely overhaul the entire agricultural subsidy system and destroy the corn and soybean industries, which won't happen in our lifetimes. But all that aside, yes, a White House vegetable garden would be nice, right?