Barack Obama knew his mangled presidential oath would be used against him forever, so he made America's comically inarticulate chief justice and some reporters come to a do-over party.

Trouble is, Obama apparently forgot to ask Roberts to bring a Bible. Roberts, who can't tie his shoes or be trusted with sharp objects, obviously can't remember on his own, and Obama damn sure doesn't keep that particular book handy. So everyone just stood in a semi-circle (read: crescent shape, probably pointing toward Mecca) and enjoyed a secular humanist swearing-in, to which God was not invited.

"We decided it was so much fun . . . " Obama joked to the reporters, waiting for Roberts (LATE?). Asked if he was ready by Roberts, Obama replied "I am, and we're going to do it very slowly."

From tonight's pool report:

Justice Roberts with a staff member, Robert Gibbs, David Axelrod, Greg Craig, a WH Photographer and POTUS

Also four reporters: st pete, bloomberg, ap and reuters.

Some of you have asked and no, michelle obama was not there.
When we walked into Map Room, obama was on the couch, and roberts was in a chair to his left. For the swearing in, obama and roberts stood across room from where they had sat, with us and staff in loose semicircle. UPDATE: ...There was No Bible.

This should shut those strict-constructionist atheists right up.