Celebrities have fallen on hard times! They can't subsidize their sad lives with appearance fees anymore. We just received a long list of pseudo-celebs looking for work. Let us share the names with you.

The following people are available for appearances, according to this shrieky email. Book your favorite now. January is boring. Spice it up with a gummy idiot reality TV star who desperately needs the work. Can't you for once think of the needy among us?

  • "Daisy De La Hoya now has her own show coming to VH1 and yes, she is taking offers for appearances so secure your city and date now. New Years Eve is available."
  • "Watch for Mario [Lopez] on the new season of Nip/Tuck Many more TV shows still coming to air soon and available only Saturday's. Looking for parties to secure Saturday's in January plus expenses for 3 people (schedule permitting). Watch him in the new season of Nip Tuck."
  • "MTV's Real World Brooklyn cast are now available for appearances!" It's true! One already made a fun-filled appearance on my Chinatown bus.
  • "Megan Hauserman from "I Love Money" has her own show coming soon to VH1, "Trophy Wife" and available!" Oh, but don't plan for New Year's: "Megan is booked in Sabbatus, Maine for NYE @ MIXERS."
  • "Dr. 90210 Will Kirby now available for appearances."
  • "Adrienne Bailon also featured on The Kardasians [sic] TV show & The CHEETAH GIRLS off tour now- appearances are available at this time. Only Adrienne and Kiely are available."
  • "Main man Jo Jo and Brittany Fuchs on MOMMA's Boy TV show are available for appearances at this time. Now."
  • "THE HILLS cast member - Jason Wahler available for appearances!"
  • "Carmen Electra is always looking for offers to make appearances depending on where, when and how much. Secure your city now."
  • "Mikalah Gordon and Diana DeGarmo from American Idol were recently on the CMT's Reality Show "Gone Country". They are affordable [Ed. note: Devastating] and available now to meet and greet fans being requested all over the world."
  • " MR BELDING known from Saved By The Bell series and many college parties is available for appearances!

That is so many people who are looking for work! Good honest hard work. This troubled economy really does seem to be spelling doom for our grasping celebrity wannabes. Unless you're grasping celebrity wannabe Mary Rambin. She's busy taking a nice chartered yacht cruise around the Caribbean! On a boat that, a tipster tells us, costs a modest $476,000 a week:

The Lady Sheridan (the boat Mary is on) is 190 ft long, sleeps 12 guests and 15 crew. It costs $476,000 PER WEEK to charter. I'm sure NS readers can really relate. At least nobody is being fooled anymore about who pays for her daily designer shopping sprees.