Allies of Hiram Monserrate, who "tripped" while "'bringing' his girlfriend a 'glass' of 'water'", have the worst idea of sympathetic spin ever.

The story is, Monserate was arrested for breaking a glass and slashing his girlfriend's face, necessitating 20 stitches. But then she recanted, saying it was an accident, and Monserrate came up with the "glass of water" story, because he's a big dumb moron.

Sources say Monserrate backers have told people the outgoing city councilman was upset to discover drugs in girlfriend Karla Giraldo's purse after they attended the Queens Democratic Party's holiday dinner on Thursday.

"He has been making calls and saying, 'It's not what you hear; I'm innocent,'" one state Senate Democrat reported.

"The story his people are spinning now is that [Giraldo] had drugs in her purse and he tried to take them away from her and there was a struggle."

That is the sympathetic spin? He tripped and fell, accidentally, while enraged at discovering drugs in his girlfriend's purse? He was bringing her a glass of water to... wash the drugs down with? Guys, this "they fought over drugs" story is the story the cops arrested him for. They fought over "an undisclosed item" in her purse and then she ended up with a black eye needing 20 stitches, according to the initial report.

Oh, and also there is his magical Xenu-worship. Remember that? Remember how Scientologists consider psychiatry the equivalent of Nazism? And how they treat mental illnesses with "vitamins" and quack Dianetics? Remember also how Hiram left the NYPD with a "psychological disability pension" in 2000? Let's all speculate wildly and recklessly on these mysterious "drugs" brought up by friends of Monseratte. Maybe his girlfriend was being glib?

Albany Republicans are now circulating a strongly-worded resolution that probably won't stop Malcolm Smith from letting Monserrate take office in January.