Last we heard from Rajan Zed, the "acclaimed Hindu statesman" was single-handedly derailing The Love Guru's chances for interfaith box-office success. Having spectacularly accomplished that mission, he has since moved on to an even more dire crisis of modern spirituality. To wit: Can Hinduism survive Jessica Alba's body art?It's a tough question, but the emboldened Zed wasn't backing down in a press release tossed over the Defamer transom:

Recently, there has been a surge in interest in Sanskrit tattoo designs and symbols among Hollywood and other celebrities. [...] Rajan Zed has urged Jessica Alba and other celebrities who carry Sanskrit tattoos to go beyond the fashion statement and indulge in serious study of rich philosophical thought, which Hinduism provides. He offered to gladly provide the resources the serious seekers among celebrities need for their study and research. [...] Hollywood celebrities needed to have more patience and go beyond the superficial because Hinduism concepts evolved over thousands of years and needed deep study.

We don't doubt it. As Zed goes on to note, "Sanskrit is considered a sacred language, the language of the gods. Tattoos go back in history to at least since Neolithic times." Alba, Tommy Lee, Rihanna and other namechecked members of the Sanskritted Elite would absolutely do well to figure out what is they're getting into, lest a curse like the one that doomed Love Guru — for which Alba is already doing a few thousand years in Hell — befall their poor choices in skin adornment. And don't forget, gang: Stephen Baldwin is always around for counsel, too, should you decide on a bigger, more contemporary cover-up.