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• Tiger Woods released a statement this morning: "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. [TMZ]
• One thing that may have pushed Tiger to finally issue the apology: While Rachel Uchitel didn't want to cop to hooking up with Woods, two other women turned up to take her place yesterday. A 24-year-old waitress named Jaimee Grubbs appeared with tawdry text messages from Woods to back up her story. (Sample: "I will wear you out!") And a Vegas club manager came out to say she's been having an affair with him "for some time." [Us, NYP, NYDN]
• Tiger won't face criminal charges for crashing his SUV outside his Florida home. He's getting a traffic ticket and may pay a $164 fine. [Us]
• Bill Clinton is pumped his daughter Chelsea is marrying investment banker Marc Mezvinsky because, Bill says, Marc is a "great human being." Not only that, but when Hillary is traveling, Chelsea and Marc take pity on poor old Bill and take him to dinner and the movies. [People]
• Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich just bought a $90 million estate in St. Barts and now everyone is expecting him to throw the "It" Christmas party of the year. No word on whether the Salahis were invited. Not that the lack of an invite will stop them from attending anyway, of course. [P6]

• Troubled heiress Casey Johnson was arrested the other day for stealing property from the home of model Jasmine Lennard (and leaving a used vibrator behind). Now Lennard adds that Johnson has been cut off by her mother till she goes to rehab; she ditched her daughter for 10 days to party; she's about to be evicted; and her Porsche is being repossessed. [P6]
• John Mayer, relationship counselor? Apparently, when Lindsay Lohan got upset that Samantha Ronson wasn't paying enough attention to her the other night, John Mayer intervened, calmed LiLo down, and then had a powwow with Ronson. The result? Lindsay looked "stable" and "happier than she has in ages." Now, if Mayer could be there to talk Lindsay off the ledge every night, she might just have a prayer. [NYDN, P6]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller had a romantic late-night dinner together last week and they didn't try to hide it, since they sat in the front window of the restaurant. The two also shared "a long and lingering kiss," which means she's clearly blocked out his affair with the chubby nanny. [People]
• Nicole Richie is working on a sitcom loosely based on her own life. It'll be about "a professional woman with complicated family relationships" who is "struggling to figure out what role she'll take as her life and her family evolve." So, basically, it will be like every other show on television. Except this one will require her to act. [Variety]
• What does Rihanna have to say about those nude pics that surfaced last year? She says they were, in fact, pics of her, and she's really humiliated and embarrassed that they surfaced. Then again, she also says her pool guy gets to see her in the buff on a regular basis. [People, Sun]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes apparently plan to have another kid next year. A "source" says Katie is ready "because she's her own person again." It's possible this "source" is "misinformed," though. [ShowbizSpy]
• That whole Jennifer Lopez sex tape, which didn't have any actual sex on it? A judge has blocked it from being distributed by JLo's ex, Ojani Noa. [E!]
Regis Philbin's hip surgery was a success! [AP]
• Lisa Loeb and her non-famous husband had a baby girl! [People]
• John Mellencamp has agreed to stop smoking if his 14-year-old son, Speck, can get 1 million people to join a Facebook group. This is nice, but how unfortunate of a name is "Speck"? [NYDN]
• Candy empress Dylan Lauren is apparently pissed that Las Vegas based Sugar Factory wooed away her "brilliant" store manager. So she retaliated by snooping around their Vegas store and "taking pictures." [P6]
Natalie Portman was a bit of a dork in high school. She tells Marie Claire she didn't get drunk for the first time until college and started smoking pot in her 20s. She doesn't seem to be making up for lost time either. [P6]