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• Down-and-out former pageant queen Carrie Prejean must be getting really desperate: She's turning to Donald Trump for career advice. Trump suggested she "become a major porn star," make tons of cash and then "give it to worthy causes." Clearly, it's this type of forward thinking that has made Trump the business titan he is. [P6]
• Nic Cage's lawyer now says the countersuit by the actor's former business manager—Samuel Levin claims he warned Cage about his "compulsive, self-destructive spending" years ago—is "ridiculous." As for Cage himself, he's in Somalia right now facing down evil pirates since he's under the impression that his life is one big action movie, but says he'll sort everything out once he gets back to the States. [P6]
Lou Dobbs is taking a vacation now that he's no longer with CNN. Mexico is not on his travel itinerary, in case you were wondering. [NYP]
• Larry King's 10-year-old son is the luckiest boy in all of Los Angeles today: He's been signed to host his own cable TV show. Ain't nepotism grand? [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse's dad says his daughter's new breast implants are leaking, which is why she's been in the hospital recently. But presumably that's to be expected if you poke yourself with needles all day, no? [Sun]

• Nicole Richie has been admitted to the hospital for pneumonia. Her rep says she's "doing well," you'll be undoubtedly thrilled to hear. [People]
• It didn't take long for Levi Johnston to go from humble Alaskan dolt to pants-dropping prima donna, it seems. LJ reportedly wouldn't stand in line with other passengers at JFK the other day and then "made a big show" about getting on the plane first. Meanwhile, Jason Alexander was sitting behind Johnston in first class, probably wondering what in the hell the world had come to and sobbing softly. [P6]
Martha Stewart says Rachael Ray can't cook to save her life and is "more of an entertainer" who gets by thanks to her "bubbly personality." Ray's response? She says she, too, would rather eat a meal by Martha than one of her own making. So it's resolved then! [Us]
• Leighton Meester suffered two mishaps at the opening of the American Eagle flagship in Times Square the other night. She wore the worst outfit ever, which earned her a bit of bad press, and then she got stuck in an elevator, too. [NYDN, P6]
• More trouble for Meester: Her boyfriend got sick last weekend and she had to take him to the ER since her doctor doesn't make housecalls. Imagine that! [NYDN]
• A new season of Real Housewives of New York City is coming soon, so naturally "Countess" LuAnn de Lesseps has a new love interest. Bravo camera crews caught Lesseps and The Shallow Man author Coerte Felske "canoodling" in Chinatown the other day. Of course, Felske is also promoting a new book, so we'll see how long this relationship lasts. [P6]
• Good to see Courtenay Semel isn't using Lindsay Lohan's self-destruction to gin up some publicity. In an interview with the lesbian magazine Curves, she details her relationship with LiLo, calls herself the "Don Juan of the lesbian world," and blames their breakup on the media. Naturally. [People]
• And you thought you had problems? Heidi Klum still has to lose 20 pounds, the poor thing. [HuffPo]
• Yesterday was Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' three-year anniversary! The couple celebrated the occasion in advance with a romantic dinner last weekend. This week there have been reports Katie plans to look back on her life (so far) with a memoir, but don't hold your breath. [People, MSNBC]
• Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame owes the IRS $33 million for three years of back taxes. Francis says he doesn't owe any money, is totally innocent, and is the most ethical man that has ever lived. Or something along those lines. [TMZ]
• Victoria Beckham: loves salad, hates greasy burgers. Surprise! [Us]
• Black Eyed Peas manager Liborio Molina apologized to Perez Hilton for punching him in the face a few months back, and now assault charges against Molina will be dropped. [NYP]
• Serial bachelor Aaron Eckhart and Molly Sims are dating. Good luck with that, Molly. [NYDN]
• She hasn't had a successful album since the '90s, but Janet Jackson is returning to her old music label, A&M Records, in the hopes they'll be able to "remind people how great Janet is." [NYDN]
• Is Steven Tyler back on drugs? His bandmates seem to think so! [MSNBC]
• Erin Andrews' stalker, Michael Barrett, had actually been filming her for months longer that authorities had initially thought. He had also posted videos of her to a Google Video account and a French website. [NYDN, TMZ]
• Robert Pattinson says he's willing to get naked for a role, but it "would depend on what it is." But now millions of Twilight-obsessed teens have something to live for. [NYDN]
• Demi Moore was very clearly Photoshopped for the new cover of W. The fashion magazine, though, says retouchers "did not do anything unusual or out of the ordinary." In other words, they always do this. Nothing to see here, folks! [DM]
• Gossip from October in November: Brad Pitt reportedly turned down a $5 million to go Halloween trick-or-treating with his kids in Abu Dhabi. [MSNBC]
• Kirsten Dunst says that she doesn't see her old boyfriend, Jake Gyllenhaal, and they are "not good friends." Isn't honesty refreshing? [Us]