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• In a new interview, embattled restaurateur Giuseppe Cipriani says he has no plans to return to NYC anytime soon since he's convinced he'll be arrested if he does. He's also convinced that his problems stem from going up against Roland Betts, the co-founder of Chelsea Piers and one of George Bush's oldest friends and who, Cipriani suggests, set out to destroy him. [P6, VF]
• He may have been mayor for eight years, but Rudy Giuliani was reportedly bounced from the prime Yankees seats next to the team's dugout for game one of the World Series because Michelle Obama was in town and the White House didn't want them sitting together. [P6]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie took their older kids trick-or-treating, and one child even appeared to be in a "store-bought costume." Hopefully, Angie will take the time to sit down at her sewing machine next year. [Us]
• Fame-obsessed father Jon Gosselin thinks he's simply "misunderstood." In a public forum last night with his new BF, fame-obsessed rabbi Schmuley Boteach, Gosselin announced, "I'm not a fame seeker." Then he announced he planned to "privately" apologize to his ex-wife and said that he and girlfriend Hailey Glassman haven't broken up, they're just on a break. [People, Us]

• Lohan family drama update: Michael says he still plans to "kidnap" Lindsay and send her to rehab; Dina says she's slapping her ex-husband with a cease-and-desist letter to prohibit him from playing her voicemail messages on television, and also says he's six months behind on his child support payments; Lindsay took to Twitter to say her dad is a "lunatic" who "should be behind bars"; and both Lindsay and sister Ali are say they plan to file orders of protection against their dad. [P6, People]
• Depressing family news wasn't the only thing on Lindsay's mind this weekend: She was also supposedly spotted making out with Gerard Butler in Morocco on Saturday. Then she freaked out when someone pointed a toy gun at her. [DM, NYDN]
Anna Wintour's daughter, Bee Shaffer, has found a job. [P6]
• Elton John is in the hospital with the flu and an e-coli bacterial infection, and has been forced to cancel the last part of his tour. [People]
• Ryan Seacrest has a stalker. And it's a guy. [People, TMZ]
• The National Enquirer reported that Josh Duhamel slept with a stripper, and now Fergie was spotted partying in NYC for Halloween. Uh oh. [Radar]
• Actor/anti-Semitic ranter Mel Gibson is the proud father of baby number eight. His girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, gave birth a month early. [Radar]
• Why is Nic Cage broke? According to Cage, he owes $6.3 million in back taxes because his business manager "sent him on a path toward financial ruin." [People]
• Brooke Hundley, who the "pudgy paramour" who bedded ESPN analyst Steve Phillips, has apparently been calling around to PR firms trying to get someone to rep her. [P6]
• Christopher Walken did a dramatic reading of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" on a British television show. Awesome. [BuzzFeed]
• Swiss authorities rejected bail for Roman Polanski on Friday, saying he's a flight risk, but Polanski's lawyer plans to file a new cash bail offer on behalf of the director today. [MSNBC]
• Colin Farrell and his girlfriend, Alicja Bachleda, are the parents of a baby boy named Henry Tadeusz. [Us]
• The Michael Jackson flick This Is It made $101 million worldwide at the box office this weekend. [MSNBC]