John Edwards could have settled the question of whether or not he fathered the child of campaign "filmmaker" Rielle Hunter during his affair with her last year, but instead he left it up to the discretion of the National Enquirer. Edwards' payoffs through recently deceased trial lawyer Fred Baron had previously convinced Hunter to refuse a paternity test, but her rumored new tell-all book and an end to getting paid may change that reticence. Racing her to press is the Enquirer, who are apparently keen on settling the matter in the most disgusting way possible: DNA siphoned from a months-old dirty diaper.In the wake of the Edwards' potential separation and Hunter's pending tell-all, the tabloid says it collected a dirty diaper during its original stake-out of Edwards' visit to Hunter at the Beverly Hilton. The Daily News is reporting that the Enquirer has been holding onto the baby's stinky diaper hoping to get some of Edwards' DNA for a match. To compare the sample they have "all they need is a cup he drank from," says the News source. Of course, they'll need to get that cup before Rielle Hunter scoops the paper herself. If you really want the goods, why not match poop with poop? If Edwards is staying in a hotel, sabotage the hotel's sewage system and work from there. If you're in the shit, might as well go as deep as you can.