Early-to-rise AM New York takes a look today at an issue that will only grow more pressing as the economy sours and humans scavenge the city ever more voraciously for food: people posing as journalists to get into events—events where there will be free food, and drink, and warmth. The story is fundamentally an excuse for AMNY to shout "We're onto you!" at "Robert Miller," some dude who goes around town trying to crash events by posing as an AMNY reporter. Dude, bad idea for so many different reasons. But the larger issue is valid: how can flacks be sure they only kowtow to real reporters? And how can ordinary jerks crash parties reserved for media jerks only? Both questions answered in full, below: Flacks: Is this person a real reporter? Ask yourself these questions: 1. Is he poorly dressed? If so, you're probably dealing with an authentic journalist. Also a good option: Google the name on your little Blackberry, for chrissake. Do you find links to articles the person has written on the website of the news publication where he claims to work? Bingo, you've cracked the case. For regular people trying to pose as journalists to score some of those sweet spring rolls, mini-cheeseburgers, and signature cocktails named for the event sponsor, just follow these simple rules: 1. Dress poorly. 2. Act haughty and self-important. 3. Walk right in, acting surprised that they don't know who you are. 4. Claim to work for a blog. They can't call your boss. 5. Claim to be a freelancer. They can't call your boss. 6. Gaze into the crowd; wave randomly towards the back and shout, "Harvey!" Chuckle. Turn back to flack and say, "Now what's the problem here?" 7. Threats, threats, threats. If all else fails, pose as a UPS deliveryman. Those guys get in everywhere. [AMNY via PRNewser]