You gotta admit, when it comes to ladies, David Spade has an amazing track record. He’s nailed Heather Locklear, Lara Flynn Boyle, Krista Allen, Julie Bowen, Teri Hatcher, Gena Lee Nolin, Kristy Swanson, and countless Playboy playmates, including one he recently impregnated. But is he really the Don Juan of our time? J.R. Moehringer from Los Angeles Magazine seems to think so, and he makes a compelling case in a nearly 8-page exposé. Consider the evidence: Spade is no Clooney in the looks department, yet he pulls more tail than George. What’s more, he’s been doing so since he was a teenager. “He was voted Most Artistic,” Moehringer writes, “but the entire student body at Saguaro High School knew he was the campus Casanova, a walking stick of catnip for every cheerleader and homecoming queen.”Spade is a funny dude, but that can’t be it. Surely he must have a secret—something that draws the skirts to him like men’s bathrooms draw George Michael. Thankfully, Moehringer wasn’t afraid to do a little digging, and through exhaustive interviews with Spade and various ladies he’s flirted with, he may have actually hit upon the reason for all the chick-magnet-madness. Spade’s platonic friend Courtney Cox Arquette explains it thusly: “He has good teeth.” But the most illuminating reason comes from David himself. When asked what advice he’d give a single guy, Spade says:

"Be normal and kind of have your shit together. And be consistent and reliable. Just not a flake. Really, the thing is, not to be a superflake. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t be supercocky. Don’t be a show-off. Everyone for some reason feels the need to show off.”

So that’s it? Just don’t be a dick? Admittedly that’s a hard thing to do in this town, but we still think Spade must have a dump truck full of Roofies stashed his house. Otherwise it just doesn’t add up. [Photo Credit: Getty Images]