Though she's often seen dancing at nightclubs and stealing fur coats around the city, actress Lindsay Lohan doesn't actually live in New York. Yet. She and probable girlfriend deejay Samantha Ronson are rumored to be looking to relocate from Los Angeles to the big rotten apple, possibly in the Dakota building (Yoko!) of all places. So what might their reasons be? We don't think it's that old saw about how real New York celebrities are. You know that one about how they live boho lifestyles, free from the nagging press and prying eye (everyone pretends not to notice!). They're people like Keri Russell and the late Heath Ledger and, um, the Olsen twins? See therein lies the rub. The kind of celebrity that Lohan is, like the Olsens, isn't the kind who can just turn in a well-respected performance and then retreat, Julianne Moore-esque, back into civilian life. No, Lohan is a clubgoer and a partyer and—at this point it must be assumed—a huge fan of the paparazzi cameras. I mean, if she is coming to the city to live that whole quiet life thing, she's doin it rong. The Dakota isn't exactly a secret enclave of the city. She'll be right smack dab in the middle of things, ready to mix it up with crazed celebrity hounds uptown and downtown. According to News of the World, Lohan "plans to make [the apartment] a hotbed for parties." Ugh. Though, I guess it's almost respectable that she's not going in for that "I'm just going to live in Brooklyn and be a person" cliched lie. So yeah, we suspect that Lohan is moving here for that maybe-still-lingering "cool New York celebrity" factor (not the homey "cool", the Beatrice "cool") and because LA is probably sick of her and she of it. So there. She's going to flaunt it and we'll (maybe) have to deal with it and that will be that. I suppose the Upper West Side could use two more lesbians anyway. Update: From an Observer article on the whole matter:
A resident of The Dakota has emailed the Daily Transom with the following missive, presented here unadulterated: "The Dakota, a salud sanctorium that once was home to Boris Karloff, William Inge, Judy Holliday, Leonard Bernstein, Jo Mielziner, Hiro, Rudolf Nureyev, Judy Garland, Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney, among others, is no longer a building that welcomes actors, directors, scenic designers, musicians, painters, sculptors, playwrights or any other practitioner of the creative arts. All they want today is hedge fund managers, money-grabbing Wall Street crooks, dubious CEOs and other corporate zombies with deep pockets. After turning away Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith, and after heading Harrison Ford off at the pass before he even made an offer, I can assure you beyond a reasonable doubt, that a snowball from Hell would have a better chance of getting into The Dakota than Lindsay Lohan."