Microsoft is dropping Jerry Seinfeld's nonsensical ass from its massive ad campaign, which they say was, you know, always the plan! The company is actually dubbing the new ads in its $300 million campaign, debuting tonight, "phase two." (Couldn't think of anything slightly less evocative of the Death Star?) The company line is that the "Seinfeld and Bill Gates do the robot" ads were just teasers, and now the real informative spots start. But fuck that; the new ads sound easily just as weird: The "theme" of the new spots is the standard, vapid "Windows. Life without walls." Whatev. And Microsoft has decided to fight back against all those vicious Mac ads by co-opting the phrase "I'm a PC." In the new ads, you will see: a John Hodgman doppelganger, and "everyday PC users, from scientists and fashion designers to shark hunters and teachers." And, of course, more random celebrities!!

Mr. Gates makes a cameo appearance in the new Microsoft spots, along with celebrities like the actress Eva Longoria, the author Deepak Chopra and the singer Pharrell Williams.