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• Carson Daly has two reasons to get wasted today: It's St. Patrick's Day, of course. Plus he and his girlfriend Siri Pinter are new parents, too. [People]
Jon Stewart's secret weapon in his rumble with Jim Cramer last week? His brother, Larry Leibowitz, is a senior exec at NYSE Euronext. [P6]
• A judge recalled Lindsay Lohan's arrest warrant yesterday after seeing the proof that she hadn't stopped attending a court-ordered alcohol education class after all. Also: She hasn't checked into rehab again despite reports to the contrary. Not yet, at least. [NYDN, OK!]
• Natasha Richardson was hospitalized yesterday and is now in critical condition after a skiing accident in Montreal. [People]

• DJ AM is suing Learjet for $20 million in damages related to his plane crash last year. [AP]
• Madonna says she might adopt another child if she can get the "support of the Malawian people." [NYP, NYDN]
Gwyneth Paltrow says she's "not quite sure" what's going on with Joaquin Phoenix's new rap career, but that he should probably "go live in the projects for a few years to get some authenticity." Because authenticity's something she knows so much about. [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen managed to trick the Alabama National Guard into giving him a military uniform and letting him train as part of a faux German TV documentary. [AP]
• Michael Jackson is supposedly planning to undergo a bit more plastic surgery before his tour starts this summer. [Sun]
A-Rod can be seen kissing his own reflection in the mirror in the new issue of Details. [NYP]
• Bob Dylan's neighbors in Malibu are none too happy about his smelly portable toilet. [LAT]
• A hotel manager has been arrested for trying to sell Paris Hilton's cell phone on Craigslist back in 2005. [NYP]
• Mel Gibson was spotted kissing a "mystery brunette" in Costa Rica. [NYDN]
• Danny Masterson and Bijou Phillips have gotten engaged. [People]
• Guy Ritchie was spotted having dinner with Elle Macpherson. [DM]
• Madonna and Britney Spears won't be performing a duet at Britney's upcoming New York concert. Feel free to weep now. [OK!]