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How on earth did so many investors fall victim to Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme? If they'd only bothered to consult a "face reading expert," they would have known instantly he was up to no good! At least that's what Jean Haner, who was asked by the Daily News to read the fraudster's mug, says. The author of the book The Wisdom of Your Face, Haner says that while Bernie's face might suggest "I care about you—and your money," that's just what he used to gain the trust of his victims. If you look more closely, you'll see that his eyes are "deep-set" and "slant down," which are clearly indicative of someone who is pessimistic and prone to do dishonest things: "When the going gets tough, rather than be honest, he'll keep secrets." Now you tell us!

But it's not just his eyes. His lips should have been a dead giveaway, too. The fact they're barely visible is "a sign he doesn't care as much as you think." (If you've been debating collagen injections, let this serve as another reason why you should go ahead with it. )

If you find all Haner's revelations a bit shocking, you may be even more surprised to hear that Haner also says that Alex Rodriguez's ears suggest "emotional volatility," Barack Obama's face makes it clear he's a "rule breaker and paradigm shifter," and while Christine Quinn's round features make it clear her priority in life is "helping people," it also indicates she can "get stuck in her own opinions." Looking at Haner's photo on the Daily News website, her features suggest to us she's "totally full of shit," but then again we didn't go to face reading school or anything, so you might want to take out opinion with a grain of salt.

Face the truth: How your features reveal your personality [NYDN]