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Click to Jake Gyllenhaal’s Dog: Hey Reese, do you know when Jake is getting back? Reese Witherspoon: Uh….What? J.G.D.: My dad, Jake. Do you know when he’s coming home? (Witherspoon removes one of her ear buds) R.W.: Sorry. I couldn’t hear you there. Listening to Bob Seger. (Jake Gyllenhaal’s Dog nods his head.) J.G.D: Gotta love the Seger. I’m more of a Springstein fan. Anyways, I asked if you knew when my dad was getting back? I kind of miss him. A lot. R.W.: Well, mommy misses him too. J.G.D.: Wait…whoa..wait. You’re my mom? R.W.: Well, I’m working on it. I don’t want to jinx myself though. J.G.D.: So, no idea as to when he’s coming back home? Can he get e-mail out wherever he is. R.W: Oh yeah. We do that iChat thing with the cameras all the time. He looks great. Tan and all buff. You’d be impressed. J.G.D: So, you’ve been talking to my dad all this time? Not fair. Not fair at all. R.W.: I didn’t know you were so concerned. You’re just usually licking yourself or sleeping, so I wasn’t sure. I will let you talk to him the next time we talk, okay? Photo Credit: Flynet *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.