Alex Bogusky, the it-boy ad wizard who thinks up all those Burger King commercials, is worried about America's fat ass! So he's writing a new diet book called The 9-Inch Diet. Oh sorry, we see that it's "not just another diet book." This one has added expertise:

Bogusky and CP+B helped re-invent the King in 2003 and turn him into a pop culture icon, starring in cartoons and numerous crossovers, appearing on late-night TV and even helping to move over 3 million Xbox games rated for players of all ages. The agency won a three Gold Cannes Lions for "Whopper Freakout," in which customers were secretly taped while being deprived of their 39-fat-gram, 670-calorie whopper.

So control those portions until you get to BK and freak out that you have to settle for a slightly smaller slab of cow (not really, don't worry!):