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• Both Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman have active cases of herpes, reports Page Six, something you should probably keep in mind in the event either woman tries to plant a kiss on you. [P6]
• William H. Macy will take over for Jeremy Piven in Speed-the-Plow now that the Pivster has overdosed on sushi and will need to take time off to cleanse his sacred temple from mercury. [NYP]
Marci Klein, SNL producer and daughter of Calvin, is calling it quits with her husband of eight years, Scott Murphy. [P6]

• A handful of residents of the Jane Street Hotel residents have spent the past two nights protesting outside the Waverly Inn and the Bowery Hotel. [P6]
• Madonna probably won't be spending the holidays in England now that Guy Ritchie has "banned her from the house." She can, however, look forward to that new baby that the Star claims she's adopting. [The Sun, Star]
Donald Trump Jr. says it's a family tradition to re-gift at Christmas. This explains why everything in the family looks like it dates back to 1986. [People]
Derek Jeter and actress Minka Kelly have supposedly been shopping for a house together in LA. [MSNBC]
• In case you haven't heard, Scarlett Johansson is auctioning off a tissue with her snot on it. [BBC]
• Oprah is supposedly thinking about buying a $50 million mansion in Washington so she can be closer to Barack Obama. [P6]
• First it was Paula Abdul who was rumored to be leaving American Idol. Now Simon Cowell might be leaving, too. [MSNBC]
• Did you know Paris Hilton built a club inside her house? Neither did we. [P6]
• Matthew McConaughey is ready to have more kids. What a relief! [MSNBC]
• Fergie and Josh Duhamel's top-secret wedding is apparently taking place on January 11th. [Daily Star]
• Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn had a daughter yesterday. She's named Emery Hope. [People]
Cornelia Guest has returned to New York after failing to launch an acting career in LA, in case you're interested. [P6]