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You can only trust about 18 percent of the things you read in the National Enquirer. (We haven't done the math or anything; we're just throwing out a random number.) So we'll take the news today that one of Martha Stewart's family members is planning to write an "explosive" tell-all about the domestic diva with a grain of salt. But there's no harm in fantasizing, is there? The Enquirer claims the book will include details about Martha's "boozing, eating and crying binges" and the "special lady friend" she met in prison. And it will also reveal dirt on Martha's long list of enemies, including Rachael Ray and Donald Trump.

Naturally, the Enquirer doesn't indicate which member of the family is behind the book. There's her daughter Alexis, of course, although given she just launched a new TV show thanks to her mom—and she probably has enough guilt to last her a lifetime considering she was partly responsible for sending her mom to jail (it was Alexis who introduced her mom to Sam Waksal)—it's doubtful she's the one planning to expose all. So who else could it be? Who knows! But we eagerly await more info. Or, you know, the inevitable retraction and apology.