In the alternate universe where Chuck Norris is Arnold Schwarzenegger's Secretary of State, White House Chief of Staff Jon Voight is laughing his ass off. How could he not given this otherwise slow news day's insane spate of celebrity politicking? Drudge directs us to a new McCain ad featuring Britney Spears and Paris Hilton—not as endorsements, but pop tarts who evidently want to raise your taxes and dependency on foreign oil like someone we know. Meanwhile, alleged murderer Phil Spector was spotted in LA court wearing a "Barack Obama Rocks" button on his natty suit (just because you can doesn't mean you should!), and Ludacris' new single is called "Politics: Obama Is Here." Guess which "bitch is irrelevant"? And any takers on how long before the GOP makes quick work of this lyric: "McCain don't belong in ANY chair unless he's paralyzed"? Full song after the jump.

I'm back on it like I just signed my record deal yeah the best is here, the Bentley Coup paint is dripping wet, it got sex appeal never should have hated you never should've doubted him with a slot in the president's iPod Obama shattered 'em Said I handled his biz and I'm one of his favorite rappers Well give Luda a special pardon if I'm ever in the slammer Better yet put him in office, make me your vice president Hillary hated on you, so that b^$&%* is irrelevant Jesse talking slick and apologizing for what? if you said it then you meant it how you want it have a gut! and all you other politicians trying to hate on my man, watch us win a majority vote in every state on my man you can't stop what's bout to happen, we bout to make history the first black president is destined and it's meant to be the threats ain't fazing us, the nooses or the jokes so get off your ass, black people, it's time to get out and vote! paint the White House black and I'm sure that's got 'em terrified McCain don't belong in ANY chair unless he's paralyzed Yeah I said it cause Bush is mentally handicapped Ball up all of his speeches and I throw em like candy wrap cause what you talking I hear nothing even relevant and you the worst of all 43 presidents get out and vote or the end will be near the world is ready for change because Obama is here! cause Obama is here The world is ready for change because Obama is here!

[, Top of the Ticket]