If you've ever watched The Hills and thought to yourself "these girls just aren't bitchy enough," well then you oughta be satisfied now. Lauren Conrad, star of MTV's odd sensation of a reality soap, was the star of a charity event last night that was all about being nice to puppies and stuff. She slouched down the red carpet holding a dog she didn't own, posed for pictures, all that googaw. At the end of the evening she was supposed to do some sort of catwalk thing with the little beast, but it never happened. Because she'd already stormed off in a huff, leaving the emcee of the event to say to the whole audience "those reality stars can be such temperamental bitches." It's a joke... about dogs... and about unpleasant women.

There's some gobbledygook about Perez Hilton gurgling that she left "promptly" after the red carpet, but original source Emily Brill disagreeing. Brill says that Conrad lingered backstage for a while but, yes, ultimately decided to blow that pop stand prematurely.

So I guess, what, this makes Conrad a true celebrity now? Now that she's accused of being temperamental and moody and likes to disappear unannounced from charity events, it can only be a matter of time before she's embedding Bluetooth units into people's skulls, right? It must be nice though. The last time I angrily stormed out of work I had to clammily give two weeks notice beforehand. I guess the mystery of the whole event, if there is any at all, is what exactly set her off. Maybe she suddenly realized that her life would soon be an anonymous husk of the glamorous existence she now enjoys, so she ran off into the night, got herself a Slushee, and wandered around the East Village for an hour or two, listening to the Mountain Goats, and thinking about maybe going back to school, for real this time. Or, you know, she just yelled at her manager from the backseat of a Town Car.

Though! Hmm! Maybe the real fault lies in Animal Fair magazine's editor-in-chief Wendy Diamond. That noble publication was hosting the charity event, and a tipster tells us that Diamond is often demanding and less-than-kind to all involved in these galas. Supposedly she has a history of tirelessly haranguing "famous" people to come to this event until they just can't stand it anymore and relent. Maybe Lauren's just a victim.

Top image via Splash]