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If you spend your days obssessing about socialites, how on earth can you be expected to find the time to understand the mess on Wall Street? You can't, which is why David Patrick Columbia's in such a confused state today: "Unfortunately the matters at hand are so complex and the solutions are so elusive as to seem impossible, that they are hard to grasp even when someone explains... A meltdown. Is that anything like a bad Tuna Melt?" Maybe the financier husband of a socialite could take David to lunch at Michael's to explain? [NYSD]