Rear end greasee Gisele Bundchen reveals what her astonishingly edible behind looks like without the assistance of Shiny Butt Masters in the new issue of GQ, but after spending the required hour drooling over the photos (many more, don’t you worry, after the jump), also overshares on her clear indifference towards boyfriend/baby mama abandoner Tom Brady. Despite confessing that former paramour and constant Lakers (tear) game make-out partner Leonardo DiCaprio “broke [her] heart,” it seems the tall, dark and handsome quarterback barely even caught Bundchen’s eye after repeated introductions. And when pressed for more details on why exactly she’s with the cheating jock, her reasoning sounds eerily similar to the way we’d describe our feelings towards a brother, ex-stalker, or (gulp) our dear ol’ dad. The skin-baring photos, and evidence Gisele is just playing the friendship game with Brady, after the jump.
As the supe tells the magazine's July issue, "We met through a friend who knew us both for a long time. Believe me, I didn't even remember [his picture]. Our friend knew that we would like each other. And we did. So I guess he was right." As if the fact that she couldn't remember who the guy was wasn't insulting enough, her list of Brady's charming attributes is just plain sad: "We have a lot of things in common...he is a really great person. He doesn't have a bad bone in his body...He is a very positive person." Those things in common? Well, Bundchen played volleyball once or twice as a gawky Brazilian teen, and Brady has apparently taught her why "all those guys keep hitting each other" on the football field. If that isn't chemistry, we don't know what it is. But quite frankly? From the sound of it, Gisele would really get a kick out of our Uncle Irving. Sure he's pushing 70, but man is he ever positive and great. Plus? No pregnant fiancee in the closet. We're calling our "guy" and Bundchen's "guy" stat to set those two sure-thing lovebirds up.