CAA Assistants Banished To The Darkest Reaches Of Death Star's Reactor Parking Core
As if life wasn't hard enough for the Stormtrooping underclass aboard the CAA Death Star—one moment, they're required to spend an afternoon with their foot wedged beneath their boss's wobbly Aeron chair, the next, they're returning a baby coldcuts platter to Jerry's for not having "enough girl meat"—Deadline Hollywood Daily reports the agency's assistants are now subjected to this:
I'm told that CAA is making all their assistants park in the bottom level of their garage in horrid stack parking.
Plus, there's only one elevator that goes down there at 2000 Avenue Of The Stars. And there's some sort of tracking system to make sure the peons park in their pen. Also, some of the assistants have been stuck in the garage for 30 minutes because the valets lost their keys with the stack parking.
We're concerned. The Death Star's P-4 level is a dangerous place for someone to wander alone. Forget rapists—those guys are all upstairs—this concrete dungeon, a full level beneath the infant-blood-filled oak-barrels on P-3, is teeming with Parking Structure Trolls and the highly magnetized, tinfoil-wrapped remains of an other-worldly visitor the attendants call "the Ovitz." Just be careful down there, guys, OK?