Exciting news indeed, as America's Little Career-Squandering sweetheart Lindsay Lohan has—we repeat has—secured an honest paycheck, and one that doesn't require her to climb onto a hotel diving board before a swarm of paparazzi, shouting, "Mom! Mom over here! Watch me suck some serious face with my best-friend-with-benefits, Samantha Ronson! Mooooom! You're not waaatching!!!" Fake-pregnancy comedy Labor Pains has managed to avoid the on-again, off-again fate of another Capitol Pictures-financed production, David O. Russell's Nailed, reports Variety:
Rescuing a film that was placed in limbo by the Capitol Films cash crunch, Nu Image/Millennium Films Overnight Productions has set a June 9 production start on the comedy "Labor Pains."
Going into Cannes, "Labor Pains" was poised to be financed by Capitol Pictures. Then, unions shut down production on the Capitol-financed David O. Russell-directed "Nailed."
Overnight Productions topper Rick Schwartz looked for alternative coin to keep the picture on track, and Lerner was most aggressive. Though Nu Image/Millennium doesn't make a lot of comedies, the company committed to finance before the festival ended. [...]
"I didn't know Lindsay before this, but we looked each other in the eye three months ago, and she has done everything I could have asked," said Schwartz, whose producing credits include "Gangs of New York" and "The Departed."
Minds out of the gutter please, as we're sure Schwartz only asked of Lohan that she keep her nose clean and commit to hitting her call-times in a prompt and non-hungover fashion. Obviously, this project is a crucial one for Lohan, poised nicely to highlight her professionalism and reestablish her viability as a box-office draw. Still, with Hollywood an ADD-afflicted town, we only hope the bloom is still on the pregnancy-movie rose by the time Pains comes out, lest producers find themselves stuck with a marketing challenge whose quick-fix solution—a one-billboard campaign touting the latest from ''the star of Mean Girls and all those lezzie photos from about nine months ago!!"— will ultimately do a disservice to all involved.