Just in time for Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock's new movie, a Wall Street analyst is getting closer to the fast-food companies he tracks by eating only "quick-service" food for all of April. It's halfway through the month; how's he doing? The answer won't be surprising to those who remember how long the founders of Popeyes, Carl's Jr. and Fatburger lived:

Siegner, who is naturally slim, is halfway through his experiment, hasn't gained any weight and says his cholesterol, triglycerides and other such things are all still good.

Why's he doing this?

"We decided to take on a serious research topic, obesity, but we wanted to package it in an interesting way. Research doesn't have to read like a 10K," Siegner said.

I can write this guy's findings in advance: working-class people who eat too much fast food just need to remember to make it in to Equinox at least three times a week and not blow off their personal trainer appointments. Obesity crisis solved!