The revelations unfolding this summer over at Diddy Blog — your home for crystalline cultural commentary by P. Diddy himself — have enlightened us on subjects ranging from Barack Obama to black superheroism to Lil' Wayne's bulletproof success tips. But we aren't sure how Diddy will surpass the insight of his most recent entry, in which the mogul clues viewers in to an unforeseen crisis devastating everything in its path. We also can't determine to what degree we ourselves are responsible for the "bitchassness" and other Internet hating cited herein, but last we checked, our non-ashy lips and robust weed supply suggest Defamer is not responsible for any part of the epidemic — whatever the epidemic actually is. Anyway, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, so read on and watch your back. The bitchasses are coming.