Google is known for offering lavish perks for its employees. Here's one more—they're looking to hire a "Corporate Concierge"! Boston Magazine's recent article about a concierge service (cubicle slaves with Google and a phone) describes a hellish scene in which entitled douches call up asking their concierges to schedule vet appointments and order up some midgets for a party—and they have to let their supervisor know every time they take a bathroom break.

There's something irrepressibly gross about having to organize, say, spa treatments for a Googler who makes way more than you do and already has on-site access to "a world-class children's center, a wellness center with on-site physicians, four full-service fitness centers and massage services." (But goddamn what wouldn't we do for a massage right about now.) Once hired as a Corporate Concierge, what will you do?

Among the requirements: you must be "highly trustworthy at all times and able to deal with confidential information."

  • Work closely with all levels of employees throughout the company and help coordinate personal services, including making restaurant reservations, ordering flowers, recommending places to dine
  • Establish and maintain an online resource center for personal services such as event planning, housekeeping services, restaurant recommendations and spas

    To give you a good look at what a prospective concierge is getting into, here's a scene from Boston Magazine's article about concierge service Circles:
  • "[The office] is just a bunch of indistinguishable cubicles, with one exception: Perched atop the small space occupied by Amanda Everett, a 24-year-old Somerville resident with a degree from Michigan State's hospitality business program, is a stuffed beagle. This is Top Dog. Each month, Top Dog is presented to the Top Concierge. In Amanda's case, she assisted an ailing client with directions to a nearby hospital, confirmed that the client's desired doctor was at the hospital that evening, and remained on the phone with her until she arrived safe and sound. This excellent work landed Amanda a $100 bonus and 30 days with the totem."