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$100 million. That's how much Cottonelle is currently spending on an ad campaign to sell its toilet paper. And for that kind of cash, they're not talking out the side of their mouths about "freshness" and "toilet tissue." They're telling you straight out: our product will be used on your "bottom." In fact, now that ads for erectile dysfunction and period problems have become commonplace, ads for poop-related products are also stepping up with the strong, clear language of truth. Not just "bottom," but also "behind." Actually, it would be better if everyone just shut up:

Weren't we all more comfortable with euphemisms? What's so bad about the "not-so-fresh feeling?" Clear language, at times, is overrated Here's a list of some of the unfortunate byproducts of this gross, bodily fluid-based advertising trend:

  • Cottonelle: "But today consumers are telling us loud and clear that we have more permission to speak to them directly about the category, and more overtly about their behinds and cleaning and care for their bottoms."
  • Always: "Have a happy period."
  • Charmin: "No one likes bath tissue that leaves pieces behind."
  • All Bran: "Personally, I feel better when I let it all out."
  • Jamie Lee Curtis for Activia: "Whereas we routinely talk about other uncomfortable topics, such as erectile dysfunction, digestive health is not being addressed — and it's time to change that. I am not afraid to talk about bowel issues — there, I said it."
  • Clearblue Easy: "Introducing the most sophisticated piece of technology you will ever pee on."