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The UK government body that regulates advertising passed new rules this month banning TV commercials that are too loud. That's right; ads shouldn't be "excessively noisy or strident." Nor should they be excessively blaring, deafening, roaring, or stentorian, if the thesaurus has anything to say about it. The ostensible reason for the rule is to prevent your neighbors from hearing commercials on your television. "This might sound straightforward," says the New York Times. Um, no it doesn't. Has the British government come up with a magic volume button-disabling law?

Mainly the government wants to keep ads equally loud to the shows they surround, not louder:

The new British rules take account of this, saying that "broadcasters must endeavor to minimize the annoyance that perceived imbalances could cause, with the aim that the audience need not adjust the volume of their television sets during program breaks."

Still: volume button? Anyone? Regulators? Times? Advertisers? I admit to being partially asleep right now and not that bright overall, so help me out here. What if your asshole neighbor just plays their freaking TV too loud? It should be legal to shoot them. Governments are so weird.