Sorry slashers and fan fiction enthusiasts, but none of it's real. Ian McKellen, the only openly gay man thought to be "cool" by fourteen year old boys, says that there was no homo hanky panky going on during Lord of the Rings filming. On the adorably named "E-Post" section of his website McKellen answers a reader's question about rampant rumors of hot Orlando Bloom-on-hobbit action by saying: "This gossip is all news to me. Elijah, Dominic and Orlando introduced me to their girlfriends during shooting." The gays were convinced the whispers were true! But Sir Ian wouldn't lie. Ah well. I guess the fantasies will just have to live on in my writing. Like that Bilbo/Gollum 'ship I'm working on that starts so promisingly: "It was nearly time for elevenses in the Shire, but Gollum had already been nibbling on his precious all morning." Delightful! [Towleroad] Two more romantic slash images after the jump.