While many bright-eyed actresses with big dreams will hit the casting couch circuit in an attempt to land their first break, Jenna Fischer wasn't willing to give it up after an entire year spent pounding the Los Angeles pavement. But now that she's a big star, she understandably has some choice words for the screenwriter who, a few years back, gave her shit for refusing to drop trou for him. In an interview with Playboy, Jenna tells a story about what happened after she ran into Halloween 5 screenwriter Shem Bitterman at a party one year into her move-west-and-act life plan. Apparently, her non-interest in starring in a "like, really raunchy" new film of his spurred the scribe to claim she was clearly "not a real actress." And while the old Jenna did nothing but go home and cry her newbie eyes out, the emboldened Office star has this to say to the Bitterman today:
"What an asshole, I should have told him, 'How about I piss on your face? Does that make me a real actress? Let's try that. I'll do that right here. I'll do that today.' Bring me Shem Bitterman."
While we're not really into water sports, we kind of want to do the same to this truly bitter man. But it gets worse. According to Jenna, he started nudity reference-dropping all over the place, saying, "A real actress would say yes...Sylvester Stallone did porn." Well hey, if Sly did porn, then sign us up for the next Blowtime/Skinemax casting extravaganza immediately. In any case, we have to award major points to Fischer for standing up for all the morally sound audition-traipsing hopefuls. We always used to have trouble separating Jenna from her small-screen identity as mild-mannered, soft-spoken cupcake Pam Beasley, but these venom-laced words have officially done the trick.