Mutual fund firm Fidelity Investments has to pay $3.75 million in fines because 13 of its brokers accepted many expensive presents from clients, reports the NYT. Things like free concert and Superbowl tickets and a wild 2003 bachelor party, paid for by clients, that featured a superstar dwarf that people eventually tossed! (He was consenting; must be an unapologetically mercenary son of a bitch!) It's true, little people are all the rage these days! They're the new strippers: paid to perform vaguely humiliating stunts as the the latest makes-you-feel-superior accessory for your bachelor's, office, or holiday party! To that end, Here is the City offers a history on "dwarf-tossing."

For the uninitiated, 'dwarf-tossing' became popular in the 1980s, and involves throwing a dwarf dressed in a Velcro suit, usually at a Velcro-covered wall. The dwarf would normally be wearing a crash helmet and have handles on the back of his (or her) padded clothing. For those interested, dwarfs may be rented for parties and promotional events via the popular website (where size really matters)... a dwarf is generally defined as an individual who is 4' 10'' tall or shorter.

[Here is the City]