Can we help this young man? "Dear Gawker, It has come to my attention that hipsterdom has permanently destroyed my gaydar. 'Hipster or homeless' is pretty easy to figure out (most of the time) but figuring out hipster vs. homo-hipster seems to have become impossible..."
"Though they are sometimes annoying, I do find the hipster boys oh so pretty, so please help. As ever, I rely on [your] collective wisdom."
He is right, of course. Us straight girls can't tell, either! It totally isn't helpful that they do things like wear makeup and have sexually ambiguous occupations, like "photographer," "hairdresser," or "blogger."
Surely, there must be signs, however. It is what they're drinking? Certain key phrases? Do fixed-gear bikes mean they're straight? HALP!