Those mythical "swing voters" love O: The Oprah Magazine (advantage: Obama!) and the Hallmark Channel (advantage: Hillary!) and (advantage: Hephaestus, the god of fire!), according to Advertising Age and "an Experian Consumer Research analysis of Simmons National Consumer study." AdAge's Ken Wheaton says the results of the study ought to lead the Dems to nominate Hillary Clinton, because she'll appeal to "Conservative Democrats"—who are apparently educated women who watch Lifetime and spend no time on the scary internet—because these women "might have liberal views on immigration and the environment, but tend to be pro-life and religious." Pro-life, unlike both Dem candidates, and religious, like both Dem candidates. See how it works? Oh, and there's a fancy explanatory PDF. Click to enlarge the relevant bits. [AdAge]