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We hope it's not too soon to pronounce the once-flatlining Oscars fully recovered, tipped upright by an attending nurse, who then removed the IV needle that maintained his celebrity-malnourished frame from his golden arm. All this is wonderful news, especially in light of what was quickly turning out to be the most depressingly atrophied trophy season in Hollywood history—where something as trivial as a bored-to-drunken-action Sean Young being escorted out of the Hyatt Regency became the year's most discussed awards show moment. Young, of course, has since exiled herself to a hecklers wellness facility, but her spirit lives on, particularly in this LAT feature:

In it, she runs down some of her favorite Santa Monica haunts. Ignore, if you can, their too-irreverent-by-half intro, and skip directly to #5. There you'll find tantalizing clues as to what might have gone down that fateful night, the actress's unfamiliarity with a barstool rendering her tolerance against the Schnabel-shushing effects of an open bar virtually negligible. (And God knows those DGA cheapskates would sooner relinquish final cut than part with whatever it costs to adequately feed you!) And while we have no idea which "2 people have saved this user as a favorite," we like to imagine that users Doctor Bombay and Yun are the legendary crazy-lady's secret admirers, Jimmy Woods and Julian Schnabel themselves.