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Corey Haim is back, Hollywood, and he knows that he's let you down in the past by never realizing the tantalizing promise he displayed in License to Drive, Dream a Little Dream and Blown Away, but he's ready to get to work and heal the wounds caused by his long absence from your television and film sets.

Sure, The Two Coreys was picked up for a second season last week, but you know what? The superstardom afforded by headlining a basic cable reality hit is certainly nice (especially the insatiable A&E groupies), and the show's Corey-on-Corey conflicts have been well-written, but it's just no longer creatively fulfilling to keep playing this ne'er-do-well Haim character. So please, casting directors, nostalgia-obsessed network executives, and possibly insane foreign "producers" with millions of dollars to invest on the phoenix-like resurrection of their favorite 80s heartthrob, we beg of you: Let Corey show us all what he can do. Don't let all the money he spent on this nearly full-page ad in today's Variety go to waste.

[Ad via Digital Variety]