Iowa has never been this crowded, ever. The influx of political reporters, presidential supporters and caucus courters has created a scrum of smelly hacks, sweaty backs and winning blacks. New York magazine was so deep in that scrum, they couldn't see very well and wrote a bunch of highly-entertaining profoundly blind items. The only thing unequivocal sentence came from an anonymous reporter: "Everybody is just losing their shit." As Tolstoy says, every insane loses their shit in their own way. Who for instance, is the "major photographer [who] had a public meltdown in front of dozens of other reporters in a hotel lobby? The snapper berated a bellboy so aggressively that fellow media members fled the scene." More blind items after the jump. Send correct answers to and be rewarded with nothing!

Which single television producer and which single high-profile print reporter have an ongoing campaign romp? Turns out they have a lot of the same interests! • Which gay reporters like to pick up locals at the gay bar the Blazing Saddle? And why the hell isn't there a gay bar in New York with that name?? • Which Nation reporter liked to give fist bumps to people after they emerged from the smelly bathroom on the Edwards bus? We bet we'd be friends with him. • Which reporter from a top-ten paper is publicly lamenting that she's the only one on the ground without an expense report? Her pals are so mad on her behalf they're rumbling about a boycott of the tabloid.