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A man was stabbed last night at the Paramus Park Mall. "The bleeding 18-year-old staggered into the mall with a knife in his neck and collapsed," according to reports. This really does clinch it (because last week's mass mall shooting in Nebraska didn't, apparently)—shopping malls are entirely hazardous to public health in every way imaginable. Then again, if you're brave enough to go shopping this month, you're probably helping to defend Christmas from the terrorists. Decisions! [WNBC]