There was a pretty funny essay about "the levels of greatness a fiction writer can achieve in America" in The Stranger last week. The lowest level is a "centipede in the darkness," who "has published seven books. One on Lulu, two on his personal blog, and four POD on small presses. Rarely, if ever, has sex with fans he meets on MySpace."

The highest level fiction writer, on the other hand, "Never considers publishing in nonprofit, university-run, or independent magazines or journals. Would rather commit suicide than create a MySpace page. Is Jewish and therefore vaguely but satisfactorily connected to non-Americans, terrible events from the past, and current events that cause CNN and Fox News to suspend regular programming. Has sex only with people he meets in real life."

This was written by Tao Lin, who we used to get mad at for spamming us constantly about his activities, but the "is Jewish ... terrible events from the past" bit alone is so LOL that he is now pardoned.

You're good in our book for now, Tao Lin! Don't fuck it up.