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For at least the third year in a row, Reader's Digest has excerpted a few headlines from totally-not-safe-for-work humor/craziness site Fark. After the jump, why you Digg fans should stop snorting into your lattes.

As a former RD contributor back when they had a tech page — typical article: How to shop for a photo scanner so you don't have to fight over Grandma's scrapbook — I know what you're thinking: No one reads Reader's Digest. You'd know better if you had checked Wikipedia first:

The Audit Bureau of Circulation says Reader's Digest is still the best-selling consumer magazine in the United States, with a circulation of over 10 million copies in the United States, and a readership of 38 million as measured by Mediamark Research (MRI). According to MRI, Reader's Digest reaches more readers with household incomes of $100,000+ than Fortune, The Wall Street Journal, Business Week and Inc. combined. Global editions of Reader's Digest reach an additional 40 million people in more than 70 countries, with 50 editions in 21 languages including a Spanish language edition called Selecciones.

That's a lot of new Fark fans. Anyway, from page 104:

It's News to Me

Let's face it, the news can be dull. That's where comes in. They give you the real story, with their own twisted take.

"Study shows three out of four women would rather get a plasma TV than a diamond necklace." In other news, only one if four women can keep her husband from signing her name on surveys.

"Hundred-year-old who entered college in 1925 gets degree." Claims he had to graduate now because his dad was tired of paying tuition.

"IRS commissioner to head Red Cross." Says getting blood from people should be no problem.