Rolling Stone and Us Weekly owner Jann Wenner and his partner, Matt Nye, (for whom he dropped his wife, Jane) are expecting twins in January, according to Business Week's Jon Fine. The newest little Wenners will join his current army of four. But this party is just beginning—the interview transcript is something to behold. Some highlights!

  • Don't even try to start a magazine today; Wenner says it's impossible. Besides financing and publishing support, "you need, at the center of it, some extraordinarily talented, prescient individual. Such as I was." Oh!
  • Wenner regrets selling Outside magazine. He does not give a shit about the Internets.
  • On US Weekly: "As trivial you may think the subject matter is, it is a really well-executed product, with high standards of writing and wit and photography and design."
  • Awkward moment: Fine: "I want to pull back for a minute, and go back to the view from 30,000 feet—" to which Wenner replies: "I like it when I'm seeing you 30,000 feet." Fine: "Ha."
  • If he could go back 20 years and see himself now ? "I'd think, Wow. I'd think, how incredible. What a lucky guy. What great writing. He's covering all that music I like. He's friends with all those people. He gets to go to all the great concerts. God. What a fantastic job. Which is exactly what 21-year-olds think of me right now...Honestly, [the 21-year-olds] want to be me. I mean, really." Oh Jann, only the insecure and overcompensating ones!
  • Jann does not miss Kent Brownridge, his number 2. "No, not at all." Nor does he miss former Men's Journal editor and former Rolling Stoner Jim Kaminsky, who joined Brownridge at Maxim. "Honestly, god bless him, I'm glad he left. He was taking it in a direction I didn't like. Kind of an airline magazine."
  • The irrelevance of Time magazine, which he does not read: "What does Time magazine stand for on the Internet? About the same thing it stands for as magazine. Well, who wants it? You've got CNN online. You got New York Times online. Got the Washington Post online. You've got so many other journalistic news organizations online, why would you turn to Time?"
  • What Jann does read: Vanity Fair, the New Yorker, the Times, the Washington Post and the Journal. "I might stop reading the Journal," he tells Fine. "Well, we'll see what happens, and how damaging [Rupert Murdoch] is to it...I've got so much [expletive] going on."

So do we, Jann! Like, we have to get back to wishing desperately we could be you! Well, minus the nearly-jobless married guy wandering around New York claiming he made out with you. Him, you can keep. We're just interested in the terrified minions and the total disconnect with reality.