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Radar has named David Armstrong Jones, Viscount Linley (12th in line to the throne!), as the victim of England's new tabloid blackmail obsession. Apparently, two dudes wanted £50,000 (that is three million U.S. dollars, give or take) for a videotape in which Linley's assistant talks about having sex with him and does coke from an envelope with Linley's name on it. (Um, weak!) The most hilarious part of the whole thing is how the Daily Mail can't name Linley, due to a judge's order, but basically finds 200 ways to say "JUST GOOGLE IT ALREADY." Bonus Wikipedia-provided fun fact: "At the age of three, his prominent ears were pinned back surgically."

Meet the Royal in the Sex, Coke Scandal [Radar]