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I'm not going to make one of those crying videos, but as Valleywag's Very Special Correspondent (read: over the hill) I need to stomp a heel down. Why are we reporting that two people I've never heard of were reportedly touching each other in public? I had to look up who Mullenweg is. I think we use his software. Or we did, or we're going to, or something. Anyway, he's from Houston. That means he infuriates San Franciscans merely by existing, which makes him cool with me. The lady in question turns out to be the PR genius who emailed me the most ridiculous embargo demand ever. That backfired perfectly, so everybody won. Commenters say we shouldn't print this rumor 'cause it's cruel. Worse than that, it's dull. Call me back when one of them runs Google and films a three-way on the Boeing. (Photo by True Ventures)