Noelle Hancock, who's been laboring at the Us Weekly website—she's a former New York Observer gal and one-time Gawker guest-editor—is the first hire that we've been able to confirm for the forthcoming blockbuster craziness that will be Now it is on, TMZ! We have such great high expectations for the degrading battle of the web tabloid celebrity dirtiness that is coming so very soon—in particular, we hear will have a huge west coast bureau. Noelle, by the way, is the heterosexual lover of New York Times hottie Nick Confessore, who is apparently still on the Albany beat, the poor schmuck.