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In today's episode: Colin Farrell; Jon Voight; Dennis Quaid; Vince Vaughn; Tim Roth; Janeane Garofalo; Sandra Oh and Dave Gruber Allen; Noah Wyle; Dave Matthews; Amanda Bynes and Ron Jeremy.

· This morning (9/28) at the ghetto Starbucks on Bundy & Ohio, saw Colin Farrell walking out with a male companion. Didn't look midgety and wasn't greasy at all. I'd do him.

· 9/29 — I appear to be following Jon Voight around the Century City mall.

· Dennis Quaid is totally stalking me. First, I go to Harvelle's two weeks ago for the first time in, like, five years, and his band just *happens* to be playing. Then, I go hiking in Will Rodgers State Park this weekend (9/30) for the first time in, like, a year, and he just *happens* to be walking with his dog and his blonde. Coincidence? His dog wanted to kill my dog for some reason, but Dennis kept that shit under control.

· Saw Vince Vaughn tonight (Sep 30) around 7:00pm at the Mayfair/Gelsons grocery store on Franklin and Bronson. He was wearing a gray t-shirt and with another guy who I didn't recognize. Also, taller and more handsome than expected.

· On Saturday early afternoon I was enjoying that tasty coleslaw at the Houston's in Pasadena when lo and behold, Guildenstern himself (or is it Rosencrantz? I forget) Tim Roth sat at the table next to me with his kids. He promptly ordered a pint (nice) and started playing poker with his kids (niiice). Short, handsome and could probably choke a bitch with one hand.

· Saw Janeane Garofalo at Broadway Bar on Saturday night. She is small, and covered in tattoos that are certain to drive 24's makeup artists and wardrobe staff crazy.

· Sep 28 - Saw Dave Gruber Allen (the guidance counselor on Freaks and Geeks) at the Nature Mart in Los Feliz. Next day, saw Sandra Oh looking really hot in a retro 70's outfit at the WeHo Whole Foods, buying skin care.

· Noah Wyle and wife in the pit at the Hollywood Bowl for Bright Eyes and the LA Phil Saturday night...Noah seemed quite excited to document the moment for posterity and had his wife take his photograph with the Bowl stage behind. Where's a Pap when you really need one? Not a celeb by any means, but one of those skinny bitches that won ANTM was also spotted, Nicole perhaps?

· And now, for the most boring celebrity sighting ever: Noah Wyle and family at the Hollywood Bowl Circus show on September 30. He looked tan and happy, wife and kids looked adorable. It is very strange in the Britney/Lindsay era for celebs to actually be normal. Noah's so on the ball he's even mastered the "contented but not smug" facial expression, something his ex-castmate George has yet to achieve.

· 9/27/07 5:45pm - Stuck in traffic on S. Santa Monica Blvd in BH by Sprinkles. I took a look at the line of suckers when I noticed Dave Matthews (without the band) patiently waiting for his chance to overpay for a measly cupcake.

· amanda bynes was dancing with the gays at popstars last night (9/28)

· Was in terminal 2 at LAX on Sun Sep 29 heading back to Toronto after a glorious four-day jaunt in sunny CA. (I attended a friend's wedding in Temecula, and I tried out for "Merv Griffin's Crosswords" and passed the audition — take that, bitches! I'll be back to tape my show on Nov 12.) Around 11:15am I walked into the washroom to, y'know, go pee, and who should I see fixing his hair but Mr. 9 & 3/4" himself, Ron Jeremy.

I know, Hedgehog sightings in LA are a dime a dozen, but it was exciting for me. I looked for about three seconds as I walked in to be sure it was him, but I decided against bothering him. As I stood at the urinal, by which point Ron had departed, I heard some other guy asking excitedly, "Hey, wasn't that the porn star guy?" Yes: yes, it was.

A guy at work told me I should have asked him for his autograph.
According to the documentary on his life, Ron's a lonely guy who gets no respect, and he likes being recognized.